I didn’t learn too much about how to pick a good spouse before I got married. My parents didn’t learn such things from their parents either. I got lucky. Though both he and I have issues, I have been blessed with a good person for my hubby.
I used to get my feelings extremely hurt in some of our discussions and arguments. But this all changed after I learned how to forgive quickly, because of that seminar I mentioned earlier.
I don’t quite remember all the details, but I know I found myself quickly praying the forgiveness prayer after being offended by something he said, and then finding myself bursting into tears as I named off each thing he did or said that hurt my feelings.
There were at least a few times that we were in bed, going to sleep, and I am bawling my eyes out quietly. It was very emotionally painful in the moment, but it didn’t last too long, and I felt much better afterward.
So, this was sort of weird and unexpected, but somehow, when it was over, I knew that my heart had healed in some form or degree. Every time I cry now, I believe I am being healed of something.
This happened again and again for a season after that seminar. I couldn’t tell you how many times exactly or for how long, but it was maybe 6 months? A year?
What I found, as I kept doing this – the forgiving and bawling cycle – was that I was having less and less things that he did or said that hurt my feelings anymore.
I do believe I am offended by my hubby far less than perhaps ever before. Some of it probably is that he is changing too. But I know at least some of it is because I allowed my heart to heal by forgiving.
I also have become aware that sometimes I am in that place where the offense is before me, and I have a moment to stop and look at it, and decide whether or not to let it go. It has become easier for me to just say, ‘what the heck!’ and let it go in those moments. Not always every time, but definite improvement.
Learning how to forgive has helped my partnership relationship with my hubby and to appreciate the good things about him. It really has helped me to love him better.
May we all forgive freely and mightily those we love the most,